You probably think you’ve heard them all when it comes to AFL and NRL player’s excuses for their dodgy behaviour. Whether it’s Collingwood stars saying they were ‘sleeping’ during shootings or the those naughty demons following Ricky Nixon while he’s getting drugged up and sexy with school kids, you need to test your excuse education quick sticks in AKTIFMAG’s world famous What Type* quiz series. Remember you’ll only get a sorry ‘If I offended anyone’.
*Debatable

Greg Bird for glassing his girlfriend in the face.

Woman throw themselves at these footballers and then cry foul when they’re rejected. This one literally threw herself into his glass.
Texted his mate who was playing golf, said ‘there is blood in the unit, Kate’s been hurt, we’ve told police it was you, how do you feel about that?’
The classic combination of drinking and depression.
Texted his mate and asked him to tell police there were Asians hanging around the flat.

AFL player Nick Riewoldt for posing stark naked in a fully made room with what looked like a condom separating his penis and his teammate’s active little fingers, whilst said teammate smiled into his eyes.

Blamed Facebook, twitter and social media just after spruiking on his own behalf on them.
Man on Man sexy photo shoot gone wrong
It was just boys being boys
He just woke up, got out of bed and someone took the photo.

NRL player Joel Monaghan for making love to the mouth of a canine.  

Shit for brains
The perils of Social Media
He just woke up with a dog’s mouth on his little Tom Tom
Drunkeness

NRL player Nate Myles for shitting on the front door of a family’s hotel room at the break of dawn, just as they were leaving their room.

Mild retardation.
Was drunk as fuck
Just a little bit of immaturity on his part, don’t have any other excuse, just a total arse clown.
He woke up with a stomach bug, it was dark, he got dazed, the toilet door was next to the entry door so he got confused, it locked behind him, he went to the toilet and he was stranded.

Former AFL player Sam Newman after comparing a Malaysian man and Serena Williams both to ‘monkeys’ on the ‘Footy Show’.

A statement said ‘it was not racially motivated but a common theme of the show.’
Blamed political correctness gone mad.
Eddie McGuire said ‘That’s Just Sam being Sam.’
A statement said ‘it was just old-fashioned Aussie fun.’

NRL players Sam Brunton and Anthony Gelling for defecating on a hotel room table and also in multiple rooms.

It was just a prank
Mule shit for brains
Food poisoning
Bad service from the hotel

NRL player Todd Carney for burning a man’s genitals, numerous drink driving charges, police chases, urinating on members of the public, reckless driving and criminal damage.

People with camera phones looking to make a name for themselves and not letting these blokes be able to go out.
Quote “The pressure of being a high-profile celebrity”
Depression
Quote “Some people grow up at 24, some people grow up at 26, Todd might just be a year short.”

AFL player Brendan Fevola for multiple cases of either theft, public nuisance, assault, urinating in public, drunkenness, breach of privacy and obstructing police.

Horse shit for brains.
Spoilt lifestyle where he got away with everything for too long and never had to face responsibilty because he played football.
Accepted full responsibility for being a twat.
Depression

NRL player Darren Lockyer for assaulting and crash tackling a bar manager after he followed them outside because the players over ran a bar and helped themselves to drinks.

Said he was just an arrogant cunt and you need to deal with it, suckers.
First denied it until he was blue in the face, even when on CCTV, then conceded it was a bit of skylarking and lighthearted fun.
Fatigue from a hectic football schedule.
He recalled an unknown person pushing a tablet into his drink at a crowded entertainment venue making him unsteady on his feet causing him to forget and be unaware of his actions.

And finally NRL player Greg Bird being arrested for Drunk and Disorderly in the early hours on the streets of Brisbane

Said because he was famous he is a target and people just want to take him down by making a name for themselves.
Took the Alan Didak defence and said it wasn’t him he was just walking down the street when he saw a commotion and police got him mixed up.
Blamed police saying that he thought that because he was famous footballer it was a practical joke when they told him to move on, then arrested and handcuffed him just. He then said he has never felt more humiliated.
Blamed problems with alcohol and a severe shortage of brain cells