Tikileaks

Tikileaks is a photo page of everyone’s friends and those that are ‘just doing their job’ – Melbourne’s public transport ticket inspectors. It lets us show our appreciation for the sterling work they do in packs on our system. Take your own flicks and submit them or we’ll crowd around and intimidate you until you do.

The site has moved from  http://tikileaks.tumblr.com/ so send your images now to the twitter account @aktifmag or email them to aktifmag@aktifmag.com and we’ll keep updating this page. Now, bookmark and send it to your aunt.

 


Usually he was the one taking personal details down, but one crazy decision to go open neck on his shirt and it was Marv providing his name and number…to the ladies of Melbourne.

Submitted by Mancini

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“OK yours, Capricorn. It says: ‘As the Moon travels through Cancer your fortunate colours are sea green and lavender. Be alert as fruitful money making ventures could be just around the corner’. You jammy bastard”

 Submitted by Spacegirl

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 “I always wear my flouro Hi Vis uniform when working plain clothes, because the last thing they’re expecting is that I’m an undercover”

 Submitted by TFitz

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UPDATED AUGUST 7 2012

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The best part of ‘The Wire Wednesdays’ wasn’t the dressing up. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, it was the fucking around on photoshop back at HQ. Motherfucker.

Submitted by Anon

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“Would you?”

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He might’ve dressed like Jerry Seinfeld but there was nothing funny about Randy’s routine.

Submitted by TFitz

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“I can give you 180 reasons why I do this job sweetheart. Or 220 after 30 days.”

Submitted by Jules

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Dean was always quite feminine. He loved things like painting his nails, but it wasn’t until he joined Metro Trains that he was truly able to call himself a Metrosexual.

Submitted by MichaelH

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“1 fare evader caught jumping the fence, 2 fare evaders caught jumping the fence, 3 fare..zzzzzz’

Submitted by LukeG

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“Just saw a dude in tartan & thongs #hideous #disasterzone #transitfashionpolice”

Submitted by vegemaryam

[Our first Sydney shot]

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– “OK then, how about ‘Operation Fare Ev-Asian Student’?”

– “Well, you run it past her”

– “No, you run it past her!”

– “Nooooo, you!”       

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“Sure, when working undercover you live a lie, even your fur is fake, but if people

give me a fake address, shit gets real.”

Submitted by Mancini        

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For Zoe, paper work was the bestest part of the job, on the other hand for Chloe……

Submitted by Ha        

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“…and a Coke Zero”

Submitted by @Gehrminator         

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Sure, they had heard about planking but now they were confronted with it, face to back.

Submitted by stable

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‘Kickn bak after long day : ) Won’t put the feet up tho, can’t fine myself lol rofl’

Submitted by Large Goods

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‘Dear Mum,

I’m writing this letter during morning peak-hour. I’m waiting for packed commuters with no physical chance of buying a ticket to get off the tram so I can fine them. I have to go, another load are coming.

Larry

PS-I won’t be bringing a date to Christmas this year. Again.’

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An empty carriage meant they could drop their guard and discuss who’d be the king of Moomba this year.

Submitted by Ha

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“OK, let’s just look as inconspicuous as possible. Then we pounce!”

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“It does indeed seem that the machine was faulty. However, I will still have to validate your head”.

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“Let’s call our band the Black Rebel Mykicycle Club. We can also use Julie’s iPhone mobile telephone app to help us with the album cover photo.”

Submitted by SteveS

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“Is there anything else we can help you with today, Sir?”

Submitted by GC

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It didn’t take long before Squad 001 realised they disliked each other as much as the public disliked them.

Submitted by MrBanks

The only public purse that mattered to them were the ones they could actually take from.

Submitted by e-i-b

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Barry and Sharon’s repeated attempts at using their collective minds to try and will feet onto the seats was legendary around HQ.

Submitted by Dan

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It was only when alone that they could express both their desire for each other and their desire to be real police. He would fine her for ‘stealing his heart’ and she’d sign a warrant requesting a total body search.

Submitted by Hugh

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While the rest laughed and joked, Michael peered pensively out the window in the background. It had been a slow day for him, again. Many more like this and he’ll be pushing pens back at the office. He needed a bust. Big time.

Submitted by Brent Muller

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They might’ve dressed like accountants but the only thing that didn’t add up to them

was a non-validated ticket.

Submitted by GC

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Unfortunately the rookies took their supervisor literally when he announced ‘Operation: Shooting Fish In A Barrel’.

Submitted by Annie D

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“Listen Margo, I want to nail someone just as bad as you but standing there with your arms folded staring down the track and grunting isn’t going to make the tram come quicker”

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PLEASE NOTE: The captions on this website are simply the views and opinions of the people who submitted the photos. They are NOT views and opinions of the people depicted in those photos or their organisation, nor do they necessarily reflect those of AKTIFMAG.

UPDATED MARCH 11 2012

Comments

comments

7 thoughts on “Tikileaks

  1. I only didn’t buy a ticket once, way back when I was about 18 or 19.
    I was over the other side of Melbourne, last train, and had work at 5am (near where I lived). My 2 hour ticket having run out and not having any cash, I thought I might as well risk it.
    I fell asleep with my right foot up across my left leg. I was the only person in the carriage.
    Next thing I know I sorta jolt awake at the ruffling of 4 trench coat wearing small-man syndrome cop wannabes. I swing around on my seat not sure what it was, as you kinda do when you’ve been woken up suddenly by an unfamiliar sound. This of course resulted in my right foot coming off my leg and onto the floor.
    “get your feet of the seats, now” I get drill-intructor’d into my face.
    “my feet weren’t on the seat”
    “we just saw they were”
    “no, my right foot was over my left leg”
    “ticket, now”
    At that point I remembered my ticketless predicament.
    I tell them “yeah mate, sorry but I didn’t have any spare change, my ticket ran out 30 minutes ago”
    “ID then, hurry it up”
    At this point, I said fuck it, going to waste their time, they obviously want off at the next stop or at least soon if he’s rushing me.
    So I stood up to get my wallet out of my pants.
    “Sit down thanks”
    “nah i’m gonna stand thanks”
    I did the whole ‘search every pocket’ routine. Then I ‘found’ my wallet and started looking through it, but took any ID out of it with one hand while I searched my pockets. With the plan to later grab it once I wasted enough of their time.
    “can’t seem to find it”
    They looked distraught at this point, I think they were hoping for a quick bust and they didn’t want to haul me somewhere or call in cops for a peaceful ticket bust.
    “what’s your details then”
    So I gave them my details, minus a number here, an extra syllable there. Richards = Richardson, unit 45, street number 9 turned into street number 459.

    “don’t let us catch you again” as they wrote me a temp ticket and quickly shuffled off the train.

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