Chip the bunny.
A few years ago, I got a rabbit called Chip. Well technically my ex-girlfriend did, I call him mine because I raised and nurtured him from the bunny he was into the rabbit he became. Then one day she just took him like a St Kilda AFL player takes photos of themselves treating their body like an amusement park- with my digital camera.
I was never to see that bunny or my camera ever again.
Anyway, I posted a video on youtube of Chip the bunny just walking around the room. The video is embedded below.
It has since raked up around 700,000 views [UPDATE now 1,156,897 views thanks to him being featured by the good folk at brown cardigan and the weird folk at tumblr] which is quite remarkable as he is pretty much doing fuck all in the footage. Now, for all you sleazy marketing types, take the straw out of your nose and your hand from down your pants for two seconds because you are about to learn something. There were a few things that I did to make this pretty shitty video have so many views.
1. He is a cute rabbit so I picked the best thumbnail so people [teenage girls] would click on it.
2. I recorded audio after it and placed it over the top of the vision. In it I give him instructions so it seems as if somehow Chip is responding to my direction.
3. I tagged it with words I knew would get views like ‘Fluffy’ ‘Cutest’ and ‘Sweet Bunny’. All though this had the negative effect of me receiving numerous emails from teenage girls making me feel like an online sex predator.
4. I gave it a stupid title ‘Funny looking cat’ to cause tension, arguments and just generally be retarded. The result being I now have over 2,170 [UPDATE 3,380] comments of people saying ‘That’s not a cat you dickhead, it has floppy ears’ whilst they argue with each other.
So fresh from thinking I knew how to make a youtube hit, I decided to make another video with the remaining footage on my computer of the rabbit I now didn’t have [and camera as well]. This video was going to be huge as Chip’s big floppy ears, a monster viral hit spawned from the cuteness of a bunny and spread by the lols of teenage nitwits worldwide. I made sure it had all the ingredients:
1. A cute bit with the rabbit. This was strategically placed cutesy still photos.
2. A popular and cheesy dance song.
3. A rabbit performing a seemingly impossible but funny dance. Did you hear that? A rabbit dancing!
4. A stupid name sure to get a response ‘Look what happens to your kitty when you give it drugs’. Not only was I calling it another animal, but I was implying that I gave it drugs!
This was sure to ruffle feathers and get some online dialogue and robust debate. The video:
Well no. The whole thing was a monumental fucking failure. Since being posted almost two bloody years ago 1,842 people have only bothered to look at it. Sure theres been some people that say it’s ‘Excelente música y video. ¡_ super !’ and ‘LMFAO_ !!’ but for everyone of them there’s a hundred that couldn’t give a toss, or haven’t even bothered to send it to their buddies and if they have their mates just thought it was plain shit.
Through attempting to create a hit I learnt something important about making viral video. No matter if I or any teenage girl watches it once or one million times, more people want to look at St Kilda players fiddling with themselves or each other, but most of all I’ll never see Chip’s floppy ears again.