An easily impressed owl yesterday.

When the default animal of the internet was being chosen many feel the owl was a little unlucky in losing out to the kitty cat. Instead, in an ironic twist, the owl was lumped with a position on brooches and pins of cat ladies. Owls have also been forced to live a life of half truths and misconceptions, so today, we try to bury some of those in ‘10 Owl Facts Things.’ It’s part one of AKTIFMAG’s Animals Facts Things series.

  An owl somewhere.

1. Owls are found in all regions of the Earth except Antarctica, most of Greenland and some remote islands. So they’re clearly not found in all regions of the earth.

Someone’s farked.

2. Similar to hipster men trying to pick up while pretending to read a novel at a bar, owls are predators. Also, just as it’s hard for us to swallow these men’s bullshit tactics at meeting women, owls also have problems swallowing and must tear their prey into very small pieces.

 An owl being wherever it wants to be.

3. Most owls don’t make their own nest. They usually nest in a tree cavity or in an old crow, raven, or hawk nest. Basically wherever the fark they want to live in.

 Before going into Revolver, coming out of Revolver.

4. Everyone knows that someone who has popped a pinger at Revolver nightclub has the ability to roll their eyes in any direction but did you know that Owls’ eyes are fixed in their sockets? This means they must turn their entire head to see in a different direction.

5. Contrary to popular bullshit owls do not turn their heads 360 degres but about 270 degrees, still pretty good innit?

Awwwww.

6. Owls usually hang out on their lonesome but the literary collective noun for a group of owls is a parliament, which is pretty confusing as it’s obviously also the name for a collective of petulant children.

7. You can buy an album of owls making noises on iTunes here but don’t bother as the cheeky bastard who recorded it charges $1.69 for you to hear either an 8 second track of female flammulated owl moaning or one hooting for a couple of seconds.

  ’Owl you doing’.

8. Owls are one of people’s favourite animals when the moment is right to have a play on words. Standard lines include ‘Hoot of a time’ ‘Owl’s about that’ ‘Owl always love you’ ‘Don’t worry owl wait’ ‘Owl see what I can do about that’ ‘Nice hooters’ and the classic ‘Weird Owl Yankovic’.

9. England football manager Roy Hodgson looks like an owl. Here’s more

10. Most owls are nocturnal but surely you knew that, which makes the saying ‘Night owl’ about as worthwhile as trying to squash water.

A Swan last week.

Coming up next ‘10 Swan Facts Things’ including looking at the breeding habits of the Swan who enjoys a cheeky fag during her reproduction period.