TV’s Matthew Newton has recieved criticism for pulling out as many excuses as he does punches. But Newton has declared that he has moved on from those dark days of domestic violence.  To prove he’s left it all behind he has penned this special report for AKTIFMAG where he tells us just ‘What I want to Bash Next’:

 

Hi Guys I’m Matthew Newton, Tortured artist.

Lets cut to the chase. So what do I want to bash next?  First of all it’s an easy one. It’s these two miserable cunts.

Fancy giving me the green light to do as I pleased and then suddenly changing tune when dad had a gig coming up?  Next up I really want to strangle this. The best bit would be the ability to easily hide in the bushes before I teach it a lesson.

This thing would be sleeping forever if I have my way.

Then it’s this little twat, I’d pull her hair and if she had a mobile phone I’d send her thousands of unsolicited texts telling her I’ll do it again. 

And I wouldn’t mind smashing this bell end’s face into the ground of a hotel either. Imagine trying to get on TV without knowing anyone and relying on hardwork and dedication? 

When I look at these two I see Bert and Patti. With it is a voice saying ‘kick them off a cliff, then blame someone or something else’.

 

Ok, It’s pretty clear this bitch needs to go and when I’ve finished with her my PR team will then give her a battering. Soon her own family will hate her as much as I do. 

I’d love to be able to explain how much satisfaction it would give me to snap her like a twig but I’d rather save my energy for stomping on this little fucking prick.

But do you know what really shits me more than that miserable lot? It’s this, oh how I would love to threaten it by saying it would never get a gig in a BBC doco ever again while my family run this town:

The other thing that shits me is dickheads who say I only pick on things weaker than me. This is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard since Mummy told our TV station that News Corp hacked her phone. ‘Pick on a bloke your own size!’ commoners apparently yell. This really depresses me which results in me having to take it out on you know who. Well just to prove that I am not scared, here’s someone I’d love to nail next:

He looks like a real idiot to me, just laying there, all the same size as me and that. And what are those shoes? Anyway Fuck off I’ve had enough of this shit.

Thanks Matthew.

Matthew appears as a guest of Channel Nine to promote his family sitcom starring TV’s Bert Newton titled ‘One rule for us’.

 

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