Above is a supreme and perfect example of someone and their PR team covering all bases possible to sell themselves. Although the effort is clearly evident and cynics would say over the top they’ve still addressed all the rules and mention the right things that you’d need when marketing yourself as being down with the youth. Look and learn for one day you could be asked just what you can’t live without and you don’t want to tell the truth and end up looking like some sort of normal dick.

The answers to what he cannot live without in accordance with the rules of mentioning all the right cool things:

1- Own a cool bike that is totally useless.

2- Have an ironic toy and use it as a segway to mention something about relationships no matter how irrelevant. It can help you seem single and desirable to the other sex.

3- Vinyl records. You must have the same vinyl records that are on the wall of the cafe you like to be seen at.

4- Mention something that makes you seem soulful-like tea.

5- Let everyone know you’re the outdoors type. It helps with hosting shows.

6- Turntables. You must have turntables so you can show you know how the vinyl you never listen to works.

7- You must pretend to be into photography and have a pointless quote to match it.

8- Play an instrument even if you can’t actually play an instrument but somehow make it sound like that’s your intention rather than it being from a lack of talent and actual dedication.

9- Talk about art. Then refer to point 8 about ‘intention, lack of talent and actual dedication’.

10- Finally mention outdoors again and then end with a quote that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever so the reader shakes their head and remembers what they just read before handing it to the person next to them saying ‘Can you tell me what the fuck this guy is on about?’. This helps to spread your profile.

Just for a minute imagine what the answers would’ve been like without the PR checklist, it would sound nothing like Hansel from Zoolander. It’s not easy to achieve what was achieved in this article. A lot of time, resources and money have helped make it happen so start practising today because everybody needs an angle, even if it’s the same angle as everyone else.