Shane Warne waking up and finding himself engaged to Elizabeth Hurley and then waking up once more and still finding himself engaged to Elizabeth Hurley has had a devastating effect on his ex-wife Simone. It’s left her unable to use Warnie’s dirty womanising ways to work herself into the latest gossip magazines with her classic Warne-torn tell-alls:
Sure, since Warnie’s relationship status on Facebook was switched to ‘Liz OMFG! LOL’ She’s had a grand shot at it:
Though, the days of her leaning on our collective shoulders then telling all, again and again and again and fucking again, are nearly over. But with your help we can keep those beautiful bleach blonde locks, that vague stare and her reliance on Shane where they rightfully belong. Simply print out this image of Simone’s scone:
Cut it out:
And paste into the latest Shane Warne article:
Or just digitally cut and paste it with some sort of Photoshopy program like so:
Today, AKTIFMAG’s cut and paste kindness gave her the gift of a new Woman’s Day cover:
But what can you do? If you can be fucked [though I don't blame you if you most likely cannot] email [firstname.lastname@example.org] or tweet @AKTIFMAG your effort at getting Simone’s mug into the media. We’ll send the best one [or five if anyone bothers] a @heraldsunreader booklet that’s coming out. Entries close Dec 1
[EDIT: It's done!]
And the entries are coming in so thick and fast it’s hard keeping up with them. And here they are:
A ‘Bohemian Warnie’ from C Owen who describes it as ‘Not strictly “keeping Simone Warne’s melon in the media” but it’ll have to do.’ I like your dash.
What makes this violent but fake [hopefully] entry by CYCLOPS rather special is the barb it was delivered with ‘It’s not like you’re going to get anything better’ he adds dismissively.
We have this ‘Safe for work Warniepedia’ entry from Mr Peacock who gets extra points for putting ‘Hey Shy Guy’ in the subject line.
And doesn’t she just look delightful is J Baird’s entry? He gets extra points for including a horse in the photo.
Her hearts a mess, but still she refuses to lose that vague smile from the dial…..by @brokencymbal
What about this from Luke he uncovered Simone ‘doing half a Richard Nixon for the 99%’. One love.
This effort by ‘Woddy’ looks real. I guess.
And what about this entry, no seriously what about this entry. ‘I don’t even want the fucking book. Actually I don’t know why I enetred’. Thanks anyway SL and we’re glad you did. She looks so happy and so does Ricky.