A letter written to Subway from AKTIFMAG’s Chief international writer and food critic- Mr Dixon:

To whom it may concern,

I’ve been a fan of your restaurants and have enjoyed the many wonderful tastes your Sandwich Artists have dished up across the globe throughout my life. So it pains me to be writing this letter.

I’m from Australia originally. At home I know that when I have a healthy, thirty-centimeter-sized hunger, there’s only one place to turn. Down under, our Sandwich Artists take pride in the quality of their ingredients and in crafting their respective masterpieces. I vividly remember recounting my first experience at Subway to my parents; testifying that one day, with enough dedication and hard work, I hoped to be accepted amongst the top ranks of the great Sandwich Artists of our time.

I’m writing because I fear for Canada’s youth, those who dream my very dream. Those whose hopes will be killed by a franchise that has forgotten the essence of what it is to be… an Artist.

While I would like to say this complaint is an isolated affair, I cannot. Over the past few months the Subway at Nelson and Mainland (in Vancouver) has descended beneath the acceptable level of service. And I am actually surprised that someone from your head office hasn’t been sent in for damage control.

The situation has hit rock-bottom.

Yesterday at midday I had a hunger only a roast chicken breast Sub could satisfy. I headed downstairs to my local Subway and waited in line. As I mentioned earlier, this Subway has been showing signs of decline. A main factor in its downward spiral is a girl who works there and is a disgrace to the Subway name. As such, she’s been nick-named ‘Hack’ by many customers who have had the displeasure of her service. Whilst Hack is part of a team that is overall very poor, she is by far the worst. When you order at this Subway, you play a type of ‘Russian Roulette’… always living in fear that the rotation system of staff will click its way to Hack taking your order.

When I reached the front of the line, I drew a bullet. Hack asked me what I was having. I ordered politely, received my sandwich and left.

When I returned to my office, I sat down and opened the wrapping only to find a heap of salad and chicken in front of me, smeared with what I had requested to be “just a little mayonnaise…” Hungry and tired from the long line and stress of ordering through Hack, I dug into the steaming mess with only a little hesitation. How I regret my foolishness. While I expected a mushy, soft texture, the warm-plastic-disc of chicken that lay inside was an unnecessary surprise. It was a rock-hard piece of processed chicken, warm and furry, with a smell that upset my co-workers.

For the sake of my health, and your lawyers, I thank god that I didn’t swallow that chicken.

Furious, I stormed back to Subway, past a line of customers to return this ‘sandwich’. The staff kept busy, neglecting to see I was upset (and almost physically ill). I showed them the ‘chicken breast’, to which they casually replied: “you’ll have to head to the end of the line if you want a replacement”. A replacement! A f#cking replacement!?!??

I asked for my money back and gave Hack a very serious glare. She looked at me, like a deer caught in headlights. A deer with no concept of flavour or customer service. A deer that had ruined my dream. A deer that should be put down.

I won’t visit a Subway again unless this Subway is shut down and the staff is retrained. If you don’t have the resources in North America, then get the Sandwich Artists from Australia to help. Then re-open only when you’re certain that no-one’s health will be in jeopardy.

At the very least, get rid of Hack. She is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Kind regards

Mr Dixon